Tuesday, August 23, 2011

After RAW: Triple H tries to visit Kevin Nash at the hospital (August 22, 2011)



[Writer’s Note: The following events are fictional and did not really happen.]

Last Monday on RAW, Triple H was informed by John Laurinaitis that Kevin Nash was in a car accident. Laurinaitis told Triple H that Nash was sent to Royal Alexandra Hospital so Triple H left the arena. I called my source “Jimmy” and asked him to find out what happened after Triple H left the arena. Here is what Jimmy found out.



8:30 PM local time (Edmonton, Alberta—Canada)- After being informed that his buddy Kevin Nash was in a car accident, Triple H got in a car and started driving towards the hospital. Right away Triple H noticed that there was very little gas in the car. He wanted to get to the hospital as quick as possible but he didn’t want to run out of gas and Triple H didn’t have the keys for any other car in the Rexall Place parking lot so Triple H drove to the nearest gas station.


8:33 PM- Triple H arrived at the gas station and filled the car up with gas. Right before he was about to leave the gas station, an old man approached him.

“Do you have any spare change? I’m homeless and I don’t have a lot of money,” said the old man.

“Sorry I got to go. I don’t have any money to give you,” replied Triple H.

“Don’t lie to me,” said the old man. “I know who you are. You are Triple H. You have lots of money.”

Triple H didn’t want to argue with the guy and he really wanted to get going so he gave the old man a dollar.

“Only one dollar?” said the old man. “You make a lot of money and you give me only one dollar? I’m insulted and I’m going to kick your ass!”

The old man started running towards Triple H and the old man looked very angry. Triple H panicked and gave the old man a spinebuster when the old man got close to Triple H.  All of the people at the gas station were shocked that Triple H attacked the old man. 

“He was going to attack me,” Triple H explained. “I was just trying to defend myself.”

“Mommy, Triple H hurt grandpa,” said a boy with his mother.

“That man is not your grandpa,” said Triple H. “He’s just a homeless old man.”

The mother walked towards the old man to check on him and looked at Triple H.

“This man is my father,” said the mother.

“But he said he was homeless and poor,” said Triple H.

“He was just playing a joke,” said the mother. “I thought you wrestlers know when someone is ribbing you.”

Triple H didn't know what to do so he jumped into his car and drove away very fast. Less than a minute later, a police car appeared and the car had its police lights on. Triple H had to pull over his car.


8:40 PM- A police man got out of the police car and approached Triple H’s car. He told him that Triple H was going too fast and then he recognized Triple H. The police man was a Triple H fan. Triple H then realized he had no idea where the Royal Alexandra Hospital was so he asked if the police man knew where it was. The police man told Triple H that he would drive him to that hospital.

8:44 PM- Triple H and the police man were in the police car driving to the hospital when the car radio announced that there was a nearby gas station being robbed. The police cop told Triple H that he would have to drive to that gas station and handle the situation before taking Triple H to the hospital. Fortunately for Triple H, it was not the same gas station where he spinebustered the old man. However, the criminal at the gas station was armed with a gun. When the police man and Triple H arrived at the gas station, the criminal started shooting at the police car.

“Holy shit! He’s shooting at us!” screamed Triple H.

The police cop was able to shoot the criminal in the leg with a rubber bullet and he was able to arrest the criminal. The criminal was placed in the police car and sat right next to Triple H.

“Hey I know you,” said the criminal. “You’re Triple H. Can I get your autograph?”

“No, you can’t get his autograph,” said the police man. “He hasn’t signed anything for me yet so you will have to wait.”

“I’m not signing autographs for anybody,” said Triple H. “Just get me to the hospital.”



8:59 PM- Triple H arrived at the Royal Alexandra Hospital. The police man promised that he would wait for Triple H assuming that he didn't have to respond to a crime. Triple H entered the hospital and went to the security desk. 

“I’m here to see Kevin Nash,” said Triple H. “What room is he in?"

“I don't know,” said the security guard. “You need to go to the receptionist desk.” 

The security guard looked at Triple H and recognized him.

“Hey you’re Triple H!” said the security guard. “I’m watching RAW on one of my TV screens. The main event is going on right now. Do you want to watch it too?”

“No, I really want to find Kevin Nash,” said Triple H.

“Oh there he is,” said the security guard.

“You found him?” asked Triple H. “What room?”

“Nash is on RAW right now,” said the security guard.

“WHAT?!” said Triple H.

Triple H ran to the other side of the desk to watch the TV screen and saw Kevin Nash trying to distract CM Punk.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” said Triple H.

9:02 PM- Triple H ran out of the hospital and got back in the police car.  The police car drove away and went to the Rexall Place.

9:14 PM- Triple H arrived at the arena and went inside. Jimmy doesn't know what happened after that.

3 comments:

  1. LMMFAO. This was fucking great.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really? I didn't think it was as good as I thought it could be. I almost didn't finish it but I was like, "Screw it...I already started it."

    Originally, I was going to have Triple H get kidnapped by a stalker after the gas station incident. He would pull over asking for directions and she would act like she was a hooker but really she was a Triple H stalker. Somehow she would be able to knock Triple H out, drive him back to her place, and tie him to her bed. And then the stalker would force Triple H to tell her to "suck it". I wasn't sure how I could write that and keep the story PGish at the same time. Plus, I was worried Triple H wouldn't be able to get to the hospital in time to see Nash appearing on RAW live.

    My intention was to try to make it the worst 30 minutes of Triple H's life and then he would finally arrive at the hospital only to find out that Johnny Ace lied to him. He went through all that for nothing.

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