WWE Smackdown Review (September 16, 2011)

I’m back with another Smackdown review. Before I get started, I am making two changes to my review style. First of all, I am adding two new words to my match ratings. In addition to “very boring”, “boring”, “average”, “good”, “great”, and “amazing”, I will be using the words “very good” and “classic”. Last week, I said that the Orton vs. Rhodes match was “great”. It was better than “good” but it wasn’t a “great” match so if I could rate the match again, I would call it “very good”. As for my “classic” rating, that will be given to matches I think are one of the best of all-time so don’t expect me to use that word often. The “amazing” rating will now refer to matches that aren’t “classic” but could be a Match of the Year contender. The second change I will make is that I will be naming the best and worst spot of each match. Now it’s time to review Friday Night Smackdown!

Smackdown is in Toronto, Ontario. Toronto is the greatest crowd in the WWE in my opinion and I want to see if they prove me right tonight. If they don’t, then that’s great because then my hometown Chicago will take the crown. Smackdown starts with Justin Roberts (he’s on Smackdown now?!) introducing Edge. I guess there is no Green Day theme music this week. That’s fine with me. Edge’s music plays and there he is! Wow Edge is back! Edge still has pyro too! Edge is doing his regular ring entrance. I remember when Edge did his ring entrance twice on the night he retired because he thought it would be the last time he would do it but it looks like he was wrong. Smackdown advertises that we will see the return of the Cutting Edge tonight and Edge’s guests will be Randy Orton and Mark Henry. That segment is probably not going to end well.  A lot of Edge signs in the crowd tonight. Edge says, “Damn I missed that.” Edge says that it feels so good to stand in a WWE ring in Toronto which is Edge’s hometown. Edge says he misses the WWE. Edge misses having a match and he misses his friends in the locker room. He also misses his theme music and pyro. Edge says that in the real world, his music doesn’t play and pyro doesn’t fire whenever he walks into a room. That would be awesome if it did. Edge also misses the fans. To be honest, this is a boring promo so far. I was a big fan of Edge when he was a full-time Superstar but right now, nothing he is saying is a big surprise. All he is doing is confirming what we already knew. Of course you miss the WWE…if you didn’t miss the WWE, you wouldn’t be here on Smackdown right now. I’m sorry to rip on Edge but I just hope this promo gets more interesting.  Fans start chanting, “Thank you Edge”. Edge says he will host the Cutting Edge with Mark Henry and Randy Orton. The fans cheer when Randy Orton’s name is mentioned. It’s too bad this is a taped show. I’m sure Randy Orton got a lot of boos from the Toronto crowd because he defeated Toronto’s very own Christian at SummerSlam but this show is taped so the WWE could have easily edited the boos and replaced them with cheers. I wish the WWE could have done a live show in Toronto. 


Edge starts to talk about something else but he gets interrupted by Cody Rhodes’s music. Cody Rhodes? Why is he interrupting Edge? I’m not really a Cody Rhodes fan so this segment is not getting much better. Cody says he wants to give Edge credit because he was sure that Edge was going to plug his Syfy series Haven. Cody mentions that Haven airs tonight after Smackdown. What the hell? Why is Cody praising Edge for not plugging his show and then plugging Edge’s show? That’s confusing. Cody said that it was a great opportunity for the ultimate opportunist and Edge didn’t take it. He didn’t need to because Cody did it for him. Cody says Edge is sucking up to the fans. Bingo! Cody is absolutely right. That’s exactly what Edge is doing…I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that. Edge tells Cody that he should stop bitching and moaning about masks over his face and blaming everyone but himself. Wow the WWE has been saying the word “bitch” a lot lately. Last year, I was marking out whenever someone said “ass”. Can the WWE still call themselves PG if they are going to say “bitch” every week? Edge says Cody should look in the mirror even though he’s disfigured. First joke of the night for Edge and it’s not a good one. Edge has lost his mic skills. Maybe he should return to the WWE full-time (without matches) so he can regain his mic skills. That would be awesome. Cody says that it sounds like Edge is bitter. Hmmm...he might be bitter. Good observation Cody. Cody asks why Edge would be bitter. He says the last time he saw Edge was when Edge triumphant at WrestleMania 27. Cody didn’t see him since then? That’s odd because WrestleMania was not Edge’s last WWE appearance. Cody said while Edge was walking out of WrestleMania as the World Heavyweight Champion, Cody “wallowed in tragedy” but Cody went on to become Intercontinental Champion and disposed of Ted DiBiase. Something is wrong with Cody’s voice. Cody’s voice is cracking a few times during this promo. Watch his promo and listen when Cody says, “I went on to dispose of the weak minded Ted DiBiase.” Cody doesn’t have bad mic skills but they could be better. He’s making the Intercontinental Championship seem like the WWE Championship and he is making Ted DiBiase seem like he is Hulk Hogan. In reality, the IC Title isn’t really that important at the moment and DiBiase might have been future endeavored by now if his father wasn’t the Million Dollar Man. I like DiBiase but the WWE doesn’t seem to be using him much. Cody also says that he defeated the World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton. I remember that match and I remember Orton being distracted by Mark Henry. Cody must have forgotten to mention that part. Cody’s point is that he’s awesome now and Edge is not. That’s only because Edge is unable to compete. Cody’s list of accomplishments is not really as amazing as Cody is making them seem. I wonder how Edge will respond. What has Edge done that is greater than Cody disposing the mighty Ted DiBiase or becoming Intercontinental Champion? Oh wait…Cody is still talking. Cody says he is the triumphant and Edge is the tragedy. Cody grabs a bag for Edge and meanwhile the fans are chanting “Spear”. I thought Toronto had smart fans. Don’t they know Edge’s performing days are over? I don’t think Edge is allowed to do spears anymore. Cody gives Edge the bag and Edge takes it. Cody says he knows that Edge is not going to take the bag (he just did) and he’s not going to place it over his head. Cody wants Edge to take the bag home and place it on Edge’s mantle as a reminder of what Smackdown has become. Cody says that he is the new face of Smackdown. Wow I know heels lie but that statement is ridiculous. Edge looks at the bag and tells Cody that if Cody is the new face of Smackdown then the show needs a paper bag more than Edge does. Ha! Cody says, “That doesn’t even make sense.” It makes more sense than saying that Cody is the face of Smackdown. Edge responds by saying, “What doesn’t make sense is how someone so charismatic like Dusty Rhodes sired you.” Sired means be the father of. I honestly never heard of that word before. Edge leaves the ring and his music starts playing. Cody says, “Cut the music” and the music keeps playing. Ha! Cody says he wasn’t finished talking and he’s the Intercontinental Champion and Edge is not better than him. Cody walks around the ringside area telling everyone that they need paper bags. Then one of the paper bag fans hit Cody Rhodes! Whoa! Attacked by Little Jimmy! The paper bag fan removes his bag and it’s not Little Jimmy….it’s Ted DiBiase! DiBiase starts attacking Cody! Is Ted a face now?! Ted DiBiase asks for a bag from one of the bag men but he doesn’t give one to Ted. So Ted punches the bag man and takes a bag. Before Ted can put a bag on Cody, Cody leaves the ring. 

Up next is Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sin Cara 

No play-by-play for this match. From now on, I will watch the entire match and give my thoughts about it after the match. Maybe I’ll do play-by-play for important main event matches. I enjoyed this match. This wasn’t the best Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan match I have ever seen but I liked it. It looked like Daniel Bryan was delivering some stiff punches and kicks to Sin Cara at one point during the match. I’m not sure if they were stiff but they definitely sounded and looked stiff so good job by Daniel Bryan and Sin Cara too for taking those hits. This match ended with Sin Cara getting disqualified which is unfortunate because Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan were having an exciting match. It was a great performance from Daniel  Bryan. I really liked his aggressive style during the match.

Winner: Daniel Bryan via DQ

Rating: Good

Best Spot of the Match: I have to go with Sin Cara tossing Daniel Bryan out of the ring. I wasn’t expecting that kind of strength from Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan took a painful looking bump on the floor.

Worst Spot of the Match: This is not really a spot but I didn’t like the DQ finish. I wish there could have been a clean finish. Other than that, I thought both Superstars did a great job.

After the match with Daniel Bryan tied up in the ropes and hanging upside down, Sin Cara kicks Daniel Bryan in the face. Daniel Bryan then falls down from the ropes. Well at least Sin Cara was able to get Daniel Bryan untied from the ropes. Sin Cara gives Daniel Bryan a kick in the back and Sin Cara’s music starts playing. Also the lights change to a dark blue. That’s strange. The camera turns to the entrance ramp and it’s Sin Cara! The REAL Sin Cara! Yes he’s back! The real Sin Cara leaps into the ring and is face-to-face with the fake Sin Cara. Josh Matthews says he is confused and he says he’s sure the WWE Universe is confused too. A lot of the WWE Universe probably are confused but it is no surprise to the internet WWE fans. I was expecting this and I am very interested in this feud. Also I like the real Sin Cara more than the fake Sin Cara so I’m happy he’s back. Michael Cole asks, “Who’s the real Sin Cara?” They really do look alike. Booker T says he can tell them apart because one of them has a little black mark on his boots. WHAT?! Booker T is so funny. 

We get to see a promo video for Mark Henry. The video shows Mark Henry attacking Randy Orton in a steel cage after Orton’s match with Christian. The WWE definitely should have made the Orton vs. Mark Henry match a steel cage match. This match needs a gimmick added to it. Short video but it does a good job trying to convince me that Mark Henry is stronger than Orton. However, I still think Orton is going to win but kudos to the WWE for trying their hardest to make me think Mark Henry is going to kill Orton at Night of Champions. This match needs blood though. I wish the WWE wasn’t PG. 

After a commercial break, we see Zack Ryder with Teddy Long in Teddy’s office. Zack thinks it’s a bad idea that Orton and Mark Henry will be in the same ring together tonight. I agree with Zack. That’s a bad idea and Orton is probably going to get his ass kicked again. Teddy says both of them will act like professionals in the ring because Teddy is invoking a no contact rule. C’mon Teddy...you invoked that rule last week and they still got into a fight. Why should I believe it will be different this week? Teddy says that if Orton and Mark Henry engage in any physicality during the Cutting Edge then their match is off. I don’t think Teddy threatened to cancel their match last week so this is a better no contact rule this week. Teddy says he wants Zack to tell that information to both of them. Ha! Zack is gonna get got by Mark Henry again! Zack obviously does not like what Teddy just told him but Zack reluctantly agrees to do it. He better do it because what else is there for Zack to do? Zack needs to do the jobs Teddy doesn’t want to do or else Zack will be future endeavored and he will be forced to hang out with Vladimir Kozlov. Before Zack leaves, Teddy says, “Woo woo woo. Don’t blow it” instead of “you know it.” 


After Zack leaves, Aksana enters the room. Edge is probably jealous of Aksana because her music plays whenever she enters a room. The lights change colors just like last week. Teddy obviously didn’t get those lights fixed. Aksana says she loves it when Teddy sends people to get something. I don’t know what that something is because Aksana is speaking quietly and her accent is too strong. Teddy says he wants Zack to take responsibility and he is giving Zack some work to do so Triple H won’t fire Zack. Okay I made that last part up. Aksana says that in her country, it was her responsibility to give a daily massage to hardworking men. Teddy doesn’t seem like a hardworking man if Zack is doing all his work. But Zack is too busy delivering the bad news to Orton and Mark Henry so Aksana offers Teddy a massage. Teddy says okay but he wants a quick one. Is Teddy afraid of prematurely jizzing in his pants? That would be embarrassing. Aksana starts giving Teddy a massage and Teddy says that it feels really good. Aksana wants to work on Teddy’s lower back so Teddy bends over. It looks like Aksana about to do Teddy doggy style. Then Trish Stratus walks into the room! WHAT?! Trish interrupts them and Teddy quickly stops bending over. Also, the music stops and the lights go back to normal. Whoa…how did Trish do that?! Aksana said it was just a massage so Trish doesn’t think Aksana is a freak who dry humps the butts of men. Teddy tries to talk but he keeps stuttering. T-t-t-t-today junior! Teddy finally is able to speak and he tells Trish that it is not what she thinks. Trish says that Teddy probably has something tight back there and Teddy says he’s not tight. When Trish says “back there”, does she mean Teddy’s butt? Teddy says this is awkward and Trish agrees so she leaves. When Trish is gone, Teddy starts fantasizing about a threesome involving Trish and Aksana. Just kidding…I don’t know what Teddy was thinking about but I might be right. 

AJ Lee is in the ring with her BFF Kaitlyn and the divas match of the night is about to begin. AJ is facing Beth Phoenix. I have no idea who is going to win *sarcasm*.  

AJ Lee vs. Beth Phoenix 

This was a squash match. The match lasted one minute and 26 seconds according to my unofficial timekeeping. AJ got in some offense but Beth dominated most of the match.

Winner: Beth Phoenix

Rating: Boring

Best Spot of the Match: This match actually had a decent spot. During the match, AJ kicked Beth in the face and it sounded and looked good.

Worst Spot of the Match: Beth attempted a move in which she dropped AJ from above her head and kneed (or kicked?) AJ in the gut on the way down but it looked like AJ’s feet hit the ground before Beth’s knee (or boot?) made contact with AJ’s gut. It just looked like it wasn’t quite executed right but it was a nice attempt. It was cool seeing Beth lift AJ so high.  

After the match, Beth grabs a mic. She says that Kelly Kelly will have an unhappy ending to her fairy tale at Night of Champions.

We get a promo video for Sheamus. Wow Smackdown does many promo videos. This is the second or third one of the night and they did one for Cody Rhodes last week. The video shows how dominating Sheamus is and there is a cool song in the background that is using some lyrics from Sheamus’s theme song. Good short video about Sheamus.

Backstage, Edge is talking to Trish. She and Edge are talking about Yoga. Then Christian joins them. Whoa…three Canadians from Toronto together at the same time! Mark out moment for Canada! I’m from Chicago so I guess this would be like if CM Punk, D’Lo Brown, and David Otunga were all together at the same time. Yes…David Otunga is from Chicago. Christian calls Trish selfish for returning just because she has something to sell. I don’t even know what Trish is selling so she’s not going a good job. Christian starts being friendly to Edge even though Edge called Christian a whining, crying, moaning little bitch at SummerSlam last month. Why is Christian being so nice to Edge? What does Christian want? Christian gives Edge a hug. Then Christian wants Edge to go to Teddy Long’s office and do Christian a favor. Ah…I knew Christian wanted something from Edge. Christian wants Edge to tell Teddy that Christian deserves one…more…match for the World Heavyweight Championship. NOT AGAIN!!! STOP IT CHRISTIAN!!! YOU HAD SEVERAL CHANCES AND YOU COULDN’T WIN!!! NO MORE MATCHES WITH ORTON EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE GOOD!! Edge doesn’t say anything so Christian automatically assumes that Edge doesn’t think Christian deserves another match. Christian is getting really angry at Edge now. Christian reminds Edge that he was in Edge’s corner at WrestleMania 27 when Edge retained his World Heavyweight Championship against Alberto Del Rio. Edge says that Christian is giving Edge a headache. Edge says that Christian is acting like a little bit--. Christian stops Edge from saying “bitch”. I guess Smackdown reached their “bitch” quota for the night. Christian is still angry so he leaves. Then Zack enters and tells Edge to tell Mark Henry and Orton about the no contact rule for tonight. Ryder hasn’t told them yet?! What has Zack been doing this whole time? Teddy better not find out that Zack gave his job assignment to Edge.

Back at ringside, Wade Barrett enters to his entrance music. Coming up next is a tag team match between Wade and Christian vs. Sheamus and Justin Gabriel. Before the match, Sheamus cuts a promo. He says he wants to say some nice things about Wade and Christian but instead Sheamus insults both of them. It was a short and a waste of time. 

Christian & Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus & Justin Gabriel 

I did not like this match. It wasn’t as bad as the divas match but I was not impressed with this match at all. It was a standard pro wrestling match. The heels started strong in the beginning. Then the faces did took control of the match and were the winners. 

Winners: Sheamus and Justin Gabriel

Rating: Boring

Best Spot of the Match: During the match, Wade Barrett tossed Justin Gabriel high into the air and it looked like Justin was seven feet above the ring mat. 

Worst Spot of the Match: I didn’t notice any bad spots. I will say there was a painful looking spot. At one point during the match, Sheamus clotheslined Christian out of the ring and it looked like Christian’s head hit the ringside floor. Ouch. 

Next is a match between The Great Khali and Heath Slater. Wow this does not look like a good match-up. I think this match could be worse than the previous match. Why are they facing each other? Is The Great Khali a face now? 

Heath Slater vs. The Great Khali 

This match was unofficially one minute and 11 seconds long. That’s shorter than the divas match. It was worse than I expected. The match ended prematurely when Jinder Mahal got in the ring and interfered in the match.

Winner: The Great Khali via DQ

Rating: Boring

Best Spot of the Match: The Great Khali slapping Slater on the chest. This was a really short match so I didn’t have many choices. 

Worst Spot of the Match: Maybe it was a bad camera angle but at one point during the match, Khali knocks Slater down with a forearm to the head and it looks like Khali barely makes contact with Slater.

After the match, Slater and Jinder beat up Khali. However, Khali is a big dude so it isn’t long before Khail starts fighting the both of them by himself. Khali knocks Slater with an open handed slap to the head while Jinder leaves the ring. Khali then gives Slater a two-handed chokeslam. That post-match beat down was better than the match. 

Smackdown shows the Triple vs. CM Punk Night of Champions promo video. It is an amazing promo video and one of the best WWE promo videos I have seen this year. It is just as good as the John Cena vs. CM Punk Money in the Bank promo video. In my opinion, Triple H vs. CM Punk will be the feud of the year.

Up next is the Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth match. This should be a good match. Before the match, R-Truth sings his entrance song but instead of saying “What’s up”, he says “You suck!” He ends his song by saying, “Toronto, Canada sucks!” That was awesome and The Miz was doing background vocals so that made the song even better. The problem is that now people will be chanting, “You Suck” during R-Truth’s music. R-Truth will become the new Kurt Angle. The Miz joins the Smackdown announcers at the announce table before the match. Yes…I’m looking forward to hearing The Miz on commentary. Kofi Kingston is on commentary too.

Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth

This was another short Smackdown match. This was about two minutes long. Unlike the other short matches, this match was actually an interesting match. It’s too bad it was so short. R-Truth gets the win by hitting his finisher on Evan Bourne after getting out of the way of Evan’s Air Bourne finisher.

Winner: R-Truth

Rating: Average

Best Spot of the Match: R-Truth had Evan in the air for what looked like was going to be a vertical suplex but Evan somehow hit R-Truth in the head twice with his knee and was able to counter out of the move. Then Evan delivered a jumping knee to R-Truth’s jaw. Good sequence.

Worst Spot of the Match: This match was too short for any botches so no worst spot for this match.

After the match, Smackdown shows the third Mark Henry video of the night. The first video was Mark Henry attacking Orton after Orton’s steel cage match with Christian, the second video showed Mark Henry attacking Orton at the end of last week’s Smackdown, and this video shows Mark Henry attacking Orton on last week’s RAW after Orton’s match against Cody Rhodes. Even after three videos, I don’t think Mark Henry will win and now Smackdown is trying too hard to make Mark Henry look really strong. It’s not going to work. A few months of Mark Henry highlights won’t make me forget that Mark has had 15 years of mediocrity. Maybe if Mark Henry looked this strong during his whole career, I would actually think Mark Henry can win at Night of Champions. 

The main event tonight is Edge’s Cutting Edge. Edge is alone in the ring before the start of his Cutting Edge show and he talks about why Toronto is special to him. Edge says he attended WrestleMania VI in Toronto which is something everyone already knows. Edge has said that many times. Edge says he won his first ever championship in the WWE in Toronto. I didn’t know that. Edge introduces Mark Henry. After Mark is in the ring, Edge introduces Orton. Edge reminds them of the no contact rule. Edge says that it is probably a good thing for Orton that there will be no physical contact tonight. Edge says that Mark Henry has been so dominating that he doesn’t even look human. Edge asks Orton if Orton thinks he can beat Mark Henry on Sunday. That’s a stupid question. Are we supposed to forget that Orton has beaten Mark Henry several times in the past? Mark Henry looks better than he has ever been but Randy Orton is looking better than ever right now too. Orton says Edge is right and says that Mark Henry has demolished a lot of people but Mark Henry has only been attacking Orton after Orton’s matches when Orton is weak. Orton says Mark Henry hasn’t proven anything to him and Orton says that maybe Mark Henry attacks Orton after matches because Mark Henry knows his absolute best is not good enough to win the World Heavyweight Championship. Orton says he knows he can beat Mark Henry. Edge says that Orton has a point. Edge says Mark Henry’s career has been disappointing. Edge says that when he started in 1998, Mark Henry was already a veteran. Edge does not know how it’s possible that Mark Henry is so big and powerful and yet he has never won a World Championship in the WWE. I agree with Edge. Why hasn’t Mark Henry won the big one yet? Edge says that maybe Mark Henry doesn’t have the desire to become World Champion. Edge says maybe Mark Henry is not good enough get to the level where Orton is right now. Or maybe Mark Henry doesn't have good enough promo skills and is a mediocre wrestler. I made up that last sentence...Edge didn't really say that. Mark Henry tells Edge that the only reason he is not going to injure Edge is because Edge is right. Mark Henry says he has seen men smaller and weaker than him become champion. He has seen Randy Orton become champion over and over again. Mark Henry says they tell him to smile and show personality but Mark Henry says he is done doing that.  Mark Henry says he is here to destroy and take Orton’s championship. Mark Henry says he will be the World Heavyweight Champion after waiting 15 years. Orton says their match will be symbolic of Mark Henry’s career. Orton says, “You may look impressive. You might just even come close. But in the end, you’ll be the same you’ve always been. 400 pound, 15 year, world’s strongest failure.” 

Both Mark Henry and Randy Orton drop their mics. Edge reminds them of the no contact rule. Edge says the Cutting Edge is now officially over so that means Mark Henry and Randy Orton. Another loophole! First Teddy said they couldn’t interfere in each other’s matches last week and now Teddy says they couldn’t touch each other during the Cutting Edge but Teddy never said they couldn’t fight AFTER the matches and AFTER the Cutting Edge. Why doesn’t Teddy just announce that the no contact rule will be in effect for the entire night? Orton starts punching Mark Henry and Teddy Long orders the entire WWE locker room to break up the fight. There are about four Superstars holding back Orton and four superstars holding back Mark Henry. Then Mark Henry is able to fight off all four Superstars at once. WHOA! Now all of the Superstars in the ring are trying to hold back Mark Henry and no one is holding back Orton. Orton jumps into the group and attacks Mark Henry. Now everyone is trying to stop Randy Orton. Somehow Orton fights out of it runs right into a World’s Strongest Slam. The Superstars try to stop Mark Henry but he is too powerful. Mark Henry then starts attacking Randy Orton a little bit more and also starts throwing Superstars out of the ring. I still don’t think Mark Henry is going to win at Night of Champions but Mark Henry is looking really strong! Booker T says, “Somebody call the police!” Mark Henry hits Orton with another World’s Strongest Slam. Mark Henry picks up Randy Orton’s championship, raises it over his head, and that is how Smackdown ends.

Best Match: Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This wasn’t a really good match but it was clearly the best match of the night. There were a lot of bad matches on Smackdown this week which is unfortunate because Toronto is a great WWE crowd. They deserved better.

Worst Match: The Great Khali vs. Heath Slater

It was the shortest match of the night and wasn’t enjoyable at all.

Best Promo: (Tie) Mark Henry and Randy Orton’s Cutting Edge promo

Both Orton and Mark Henry delivered great promos during the Cutting Edge so I have to give the award to both of them.

Worst Promo: Edge’s opening promo

I don’t want to give the worst promo award to Edge but I really didn’t like his promo in the beginning of Smackdown. Everyone knows Edge misses the WWE. He should have said something more interesting.