Event: Monday Night RAW
Date: Monday August 8, 2011
Location: San Jose, California
(At the start of RAW, Triple H announces that he will be the referee for the CM Punk vs. John Cena match at SummerSlam. Later in the show, Josh Mathews interviews CM Punk before his match.)
Josh Mathews: Excuse me, CM Punk. Punk, what’s your reaction to Triple H naming himself the special guest referee for your WWE Championship match at SummerSlam?
CM Punk: What’s my reaction? What’s your reaction? Are you shocked? Is anybody really surprised? I mean I’m not. This guy’s got a bigger ego than his father-in-law. And coming from the guy that said he re-signed CM Punk because it’s good for business, he should have the clairvoyance to know that what’s good for business is him keeping his nose out of the match. But it’s the biggest WWE Title match in history right? John Cena vs. CM Punk one-on-one. That should sell tickets right there, but no…Triple H needs that spotlight. You know, it’s like he’s solar powered or something like that. But uh, what’s good for business is him staying out of it. What’s good for business is CM Punk beating John Cena and becoming the undisputed WWE Champion. What’s good for business right now is me going out to the ring and kicking Alberto Del Rio’s teeth down his throat. What’d he say earlier? I’m a coward? And he was going to show the world what would have happened at Money in the Bank? He’s got one thing right. He’s gonna show the world exactly what would have happened at Money in the Bank and I’m gonna help him right now.
(At the end of RAW, Triple H hosts a contract signing for the CM Punk vs. John Cena SummerSlam match. Triple H and John Laurinaitis are in the ring.)
Triple H: Welcome to the official SummerSlam contract signing for the undisputed WWE Championship match.
(CM Punk’s music plays and Punk walks down to the ring and then John Cena’s music plays and Cena walks down to the ring. Both of them sit down at a table that is set-up in the middle of the ring.)
Triple H: Alright guys. We can cut right to the chase here. You both had a chance to review this.
CM Punk: (Interrupts Triple H) Why don’t we cut right to the chase? One…one second Mr. COO. I think everybody here knows that this match is pretty much already official. I mean, John Cena vs. CM Punk at SummerSlam. Everybody knows where we’re going with this. So why we out here? This is all just for show right? We’re supposed to be out here and be entertaining? I mean, when’s the last time we had one of these contract signings that didn’t end in some sort of horrible, physical calamity? So if you want to cut to the chase, you know we could flip the table over, we could all start beat each other up, or we could just at least make this entertaining. I feel…I feel like I’m a movie star and I’m on the set of you know maybe Conan O’Brien or something…I’m about to pitch a clip to my next big movie and in that vein, I actually have a clip from a big-time movie star that is going to explain in so many words how I feel about John Cena. And no, that movie star isn’t you (points to Triple H) in The Chaperone.
Triple H: (Interrupts CM Punk) How was…how was your movie by the way? I missed it.
CM Punk: Mine went straight to DVD just like yours. This is an actual movie star who is now going to explain how I feel mostly about you. So take it away Dwayne.
(Video of The Rock that was uploaded on The Rock’s Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube page in July appears on the titantron. The Rock says that when John Cena is in the locker room, he puts on his tough guy sneakers, his tough guy jean shorts that have been out of style since 1992, and his red tough guy wristbands that makes him look like a transvestite Wonder Woman ready to fight crime. Then The Rock talks about Cena’s ring entrance and then he says that after Cena’s music stops, the fans say, “Let’s go Cena…Cena sucks!” The Rock says the reason fans boo John Cena is because the men in the crowd can see through bullshit and they smell a phony punk a mile away.)
CM Punk: There’s a lot wrong with that. I mean, obviously I don’t think they’re saying, “Cena Sucks.” I think they are saying, “CM Punk.” But you get the gist of it, right? And for everything that’s right with that, thank you Dwayne for sending that from your Facebook by the way, you’re a phony like he says but the ironic thing is while he’s calling you a phony, he doesn’t realize he’s just a big a phony as you are. And maybe…maybe Dwayne’s gonna be upset now but he seems to have a real problem with you. I don’t want Dwayne to talk to me in a voice like this and say mean things about me so maybe I’ll just stop and I’ll sign the contract.
John Cena: No no no no no…see this is what you were talking about…being entertaining. I like this stuff. You caught me off guard a little bit with the clip. But listen to this. You have these people going crazy and that’s what I love to see. You see a guy like that…a guy like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I mean, this guy has done it all. Future WWE hall of famer…absolutely. Headlining WrestleMania…he’s already on the bill. A bona fide Hollywood movie star. This guy is working on G.I. Joe right now as we speak. Congratulations Dwayne. Here’s the thing…with all this success he’s had, there is no reason for a guy like that to be mad about anything because I’m sure he’s doing just fine. Yet, he looks at me and he just flips out. He gets so angry and why? Because you heard him…because I uh…because I wear read. I’m some sort of transvestite wonder woman fruity pebble. ‘Cuz my uh, my jorts are 20 years out of style. ‘Cuz I tie my shoes wrong. ‘Cuz of the way I wear my cap…
CM Punk: Ok, ok (interrupting John Cena). I didn’t show the clip so you could go off on The Rock. Alright?
John Cena: No no no no no. No no, that’s okay because you also have an issue with me. Now you’re not gonna make fun of the way I dress. I believe you’re above that but your issues…your issues are those of the voiceless. You think maybe I’m a product of the system. Maybe that I’m a, even though I know kids are watching, maybe I’m a little too PG for ya. Maybe I’m a…maybe I’m just a modern day Hulk Hogan. I just took the hand away from my ear brother and put it in front of my face. This is where I hit you with some truth. The Rock is a star and he has his millions. And I could try my hardest to talk trash with The Rock, to battle back-and-forth with The Rock, I will never win over the millions. And you, of course, you have your fans and I know no matter what I do, I could…I could increase my work rate, I could add to the five moves of doom, or maybe let my heel persona shine though…I will never win over those people. You made an amazing comparison to me a few weeks back. You said I was the New York Yankees. I originally was offended by that but the Yankees are the most loved and hated team in all of professional sports. Listen…I can just bring up the name and it gets a response. And you in that comparison were absolutely right. Listen, there are so, so many people that hate me. Just like The Rock said, when my music plays and I run down that ramp, it’s like those hall of fame championship riddled pinstripes taking the field. People just see it and they ooze hate. Those are not the people I’m concerned with. I’m concerned with those who wear their colors proud. I’m concerned…I am concerned with the people who have been loyal and devoted to me and know no matter what I will not give up on them through thick or thin, good, bad, or indifferent. Those are the people I care about. And sir, there is nothing phony about that. You speak your mind and you throw a lot of stones and you live in a glass house. Because you a few weeks ago wanted your own private jet. You want to be on the front of magazines, you wanted your own movies, your face on ice cream bars.
CM Punk: Ice cream bars!
John Cena: Yes indeed. I even have a CM Punk ice cream bar but now, you’re trying to come back as some underground voice of the voiceless? You want phony Punk? Look in the mirror kid.
Triple H: Now, not to throw gas on the fire at all but he does have a good point there. I mean let’s face it, for all your holier than thou stuff, really all you are at the end of the day is a guy that held out for more money and a couple of perks right? And then you didn’t even have the guts to stand face to face like a man and negotiate. You ran away and called on the phone.
CM Punk: Oh wait a minute. I’m gutless? I’m a phony? I’m gutless? Let’s analyze that. Who fires people around here? You (pointing to Triple H)? Or funk man over here (pointing to John Laurinaitis) huh? Let me ask you a question Johnny…funk man! Did you personally face to face fire Vladimir Kozlov on Friday? Huh? Did you…did you fly yourself to Florida to tell Harry Smith…yes his name is Harry not David Hart Smith…that he was no longer needed here? Huh? Did you tell Chris Masters…somebody who over the past year has worked his ass off to get better…did you fire him face to face or did you call him up and say (mocking John Laurinaitis’s voice), “Hey kid…it’s a budget thing. Best of luck in your future endeavors”? Don’t call me gutless. You have him (pointing to Laurinaitis) do your dirty work. This isn’t about him (pointing to Laurinaitis). This isn’t about you (pointing to Triple H). Hey John boy. This is about you and this is about me. And this is about the WWE Championship. And it’s easy for you to sit there and act all noble and holier than thou when you’ve been afforded opportunity after opportunity. See, you’re placed on a pedestal so your perspective is skewed. You look down on everybody else. You look down on me and I’ll give you an example. Some odd years ago, I won my first championship here in the WWE. I won the ECW Title. The next day, you, who didn’t bother saying two words to me before that, pat me on the back and you said, “Good match. Congratulations champ. I almost gave up on you.” I hold grudges. Ever since then, I’ve had a sour taste in my mouth because who the hell do you think you are? You gave up on me? Huh? You know who gave up, Mr. Hustle Loyalty and Respect? You know who gave up on their dream? You did. When you moved to California to become a bodybuilder and you became a Sports Entertainer because you couldn’t hack it. Alright? I started as a professional wrestler and I fought to get to where I’m at right now and yeah I held up the WWE for some perks. Do I want an ice cream bar with my name on it? You’re damn right. You see, you’re the lion. I’m the hyena. I got to fight for my share so yeah I held everybody up to get the opportunities that you’ve just been handed. The opportunities that you’ve just been given. That yeah you can take. I mean who would turn them down? Certainly I wouldn’t. Here’s the thing John boy. Seven years ago in Los Angeles, you walked in and you won your first WWE Title. Congratulations. This Sunday, you’re walking back into Los Angeles and I want to let you know something…you’re walking out with nothing. You are walking out with nothing. Oh sure…you’ll be a big star the next day. You’ll be in The Marine 4 or maybe you’ll have your big fight with Dwayne which is great and you’ll still have your legions of fans who are gonna pee in their pajamas every time they think about you. You know what you’re not gonna have, John boy? You’re not gonna have the WWE Championship. You will not be WWE Champion because the WWE Champion will be me!
(CM Punk signs contract.)
John Cena: Fine speech. Do you realize how much pressure is on you this Sunday? No no no no no…you have no idea. Congratulations Punk. You won one match, in Chicago, at Money in the Bank. You did a hell of a job. You beat me straight-up. You have every right to be called the WWE Champion. You ever thought about what happens if you just might lose at SummerSlam? Your little diatribe about me going on and facing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson at WrestleMania is exactly correct. Win, lose, or draw, I’m headed to WrestleMania to face The Rock. You…you need this match. You need this more than anything in your life because you now have people watching you. You have explained that that is a pipe bomb and speak your mind and I commend you for that but if you don’t back it up when the bell rings especially this Sunday, you know what you are? You’re a loud mouth, one hit wonder. You…you…you will be known as Buster Douglas, Yahoo Serious, Milli…what’s the other guy…Vanilli. If you don’t produce on Sunday with everything on the line, for you, all of this…(Cena snaps his fingers) gone just like that. (Cena signs contract.) Good luck.
CM Punk: Good luck? John, luck’s for losers and I would much rather be a one hit wonder than a phony.
John Cena: We’ve talking for quite a while now and you came out here to entertain these people right? I just got a feeling this talking thing is wearing a bit thin.
CM Punk: Well hey, you know talking’s sort of what I do but I can also kick your teeth down your throat.
(Cena flips over the table. CM Punk and Cena stare at each other. Laurinaitis tries to stop them from fighting. He slowly pushes Punk towards the ring ropes but Cena starts to follow them so Laurinaitis turns to face Cena. While Laurinaitis is looking at Cena, it looks like Punk tries to kick Cena but kicks Laurinaitis instead. Triple H tries to get Punk out of the ring but Cena runs towards Punk punches Punk on his head. Punk rolls out of the ring and Triple H pushes Cena and stands in front of Cena to stop him from leaving the ring and attacking Punk more. Punk walks away from the ring a little bit and then turns towards the ring.)
CM Punk: Is that the way it’s gonna be? A nice little company picnic right here (Triple H and Cena are still standing next to each other in the ring)? Huh? Is the fix in? Is the fix in Hunter? You two gonna stand there in the ring and look at me? Huh?
(Punk says some more stuff but it is inaudible and RAW ends.)
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