Random Wrestling Match Review (January 7, 2012)

[Editor's Note: No Keg Stand column this week. I should have one next week.]

I have added several matches to my DVD collection during the holidays. The number of WCW/ECW/WWE matches I have on DVD or Blu-Ray is now at 434. This week, I randomly selected the number 89. The match I will review is...

Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin (Survivor Series- November 17, 1996)

Another Bret Hart match but this one has Stone Cold. Many people say that this is a great Bret Hart match and also a great Stone Cold match. I have seen this match before but only two or three times so I'm looking forward to watching it again and reviewing it.

The Facts:

• This match happened in Madison Square Garden in New York City. The attendance was 18,647.
• Vince McMahon and Jim Ross were the announcers for this match.
• This was Bret Hart's first match after an eight month hiatus from television. Bret started his break after WrestleMania XII.
• The match is NOT the famous Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold match that ended with Stone Cold passing out while losing a lot of blood during Hart's sharpshooter submission hold. That match was at WrestleMania 13.
• The match had a 28:36 time length.
• Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter gave this match a ****1/2 rating.

The Match:

This is a Bret Hart match so the pace is going to be slow. Bret Hart and Stone Cold waited a full minute after the bell rang before locking up to start the match. Jim Ross said in the beginning of the match, "I don't think you are going to see a lot of high flying and a lot of risk taking in this match-up." He seems to be right because it took nearly two and a half minutes for the first takedown of the match. Some RAW matches today are over by then. It took Stone Cold nearly five minutes to knock Bret Hart down in a physical way. Stone Cold did that by hitting Bret with his elbow. Before that, the entire match looked like an amateur wrestling match and not a professional wrestling match. Some people may call that art but it looks boring to me. In my opinion, this is not a good match to watch late at night. It is very likely that you will fall asleep. After the elbow knockdown by Stone Cold, the action got a little bit more physical. Stone Cold attacked Bret with clotheslines and punches but Bret continued using traditional wrestling maneuvers. Vince McMahon said during the match, "Bret is not being defensive but I don't see a lot of offense here. It's mostly Steve Austin with the offense." That's exactly what I'm trying to say. Thanks Vince...I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.

After seven minutes, Stone Cold was in control of the match. Bret Hart was able to apply some holds to Austin but Austin has got in the most offense so far. Austin tried to do some storytelling by working on Bret Hart's neck after Bret's neck hit the top ring rope. I recently listened to Stone Cold and Jim Ross do commentary during the WrestleMania 13 Bret vs. Austin match and they spoke a lot about storytelling so that is something I am starting to notice more. Jim Ross noticed that Stone Cold was working on Bret's neck and he acknowledged it to the fans at home. Right now, this match is about 95% storytelling and 5% excitement. They are doing a good job at storytelling and I can see why many people love this match but this isn't really my style. So far, I respect what Hart and Austin are doing but I'm not enjoying it a lot. A little bit after the ten minute mark, Hart and Austin start a fist fight. Stone Cold wins the fight and gets Bret in the corner. Jim Ross said, "Stone Cold wins round one of the fist fight." At the eleven minute mark, Bret Hart finally gets control of the match and is able to successfully hit Austin with some offensive moves. After a couple near falls, Stone Cold is able to regain control at the 12 minute mark. The story so far is that Stone Cold has controlled most of this match. Bret Hart has controlled the match a few times but Stone Cold would regain control shortly afterwards. At this point, the match is starting to go back-and-forth. Just a minute ago, Stone Cold was in control. Now, Bret Hart just hit Austin with an elbow off the top turnbuckle at the 13 minute mark.

At the 14 minute mark, Stone Cold and Bret Hart were outside the ring with Stone Cold in control. I know who wins this match but if I didn't, I would have a hard time guessing who would win. These two guys are doing a good job at making the match unpredictable. They are past the 15 minute mark now, and Bret Hart is in control. I think I was wrong...this match is a little bit predictable. It is hard to predict who will win but it's easy to predict who will be in control after each minute. Or maybe not. It's past the 16 minute mark now and Bret Hart is still in control. Can Bret stay in control or will Austin fight back? Well that was quick...Austin was able to toss Hart onto the announce table just 14 seconds later. It's the Spanish announce table. It didn't break but I didn't know that the Spanish announce table was getting attacked in 1996. Jim Ross said, "It seems like it always happens to the Spanish guys." LOL...I am enjoying Jim Ross's commentary more than this match. No offense to Bret Hart and Stone Cold but Jim Ross is a legend and it's too bad he's no longer calling the action every week on RAW.

At the 17 minute mark, Austin puts Bret on the Spanish announce table. Austin is now on the ring apron! The end might be near for the Spanish announce table. Austin does a small elbow drop onto Bret that is not big enough to break the table but it does cause Bret to fall off the table. At 18 minutes, Stone Cold suplexes Bret into the ring. Stone Cold is in complete control right now. If I had to guess, I would say Stone Cold is getting close to winning the match. Vince said, "It's all Stone Cold Steve Austin." The match is now at the 20 minute mark and Stone Cold is still in control. How can Bret get back into this match? Stone Cold applies a hold to Bret but Stone Cold had his hand on the rope so the referee broke up the hold. Austin got upset and argued with the referee. That gave Bret enough time to rest and get back into the match. Austin and Bret got into another fist fight and Bret won round two.

It is the 22 minute mark now and Bret Hart is in control. This match has gone back-and-forth a lot and I enjoy that. Too many matches today are dominated by one person for most of the match and then the other guy makes his comeback late in the match. Bret didn't stay in control very long and now it looks like Austin is in control at the 23 minute mark. Austin got Bret on the top turnbuckle and hit an off the top turnbuckle suplex. With both men on the mat, somehow Bret was able to do a pinning maneuver on Austin but Austin kicked out. Both men got up and Bret walked towards Austin but Austin was able to hit a Stunner. Instead of pinning Bret right away, Austin pulled Bret away from the ropes. Austin went for the cover but Bret kicked out. Austin can't believe Bret kicked out so he tries to pin Bret a few more times but Bret kicked out of each one. After the 25 minute mark, Austin got Bret into the Texas Cloverleaf submission move but Bret grabbed the bottom rope to break the hold. It is the 26 minute mark now and Austin is still in control. Austin puts Bret in another submission move that the announcers say is called the Bow and Arrow submission move. Bret escapes and tries to turn it into the Sharpshooter but Austin gets to the ropes. Bret gets Austin in a sleeper hold but Austin hits Bret with a jawbreaker. The match is past the 28 minute mark now and Austin puts Bret in The Million Dollar Dream hold.

Bret is close to the turnbuckles so he puts his feet against the turnbuckles and pushes off. Bret is able to fall onto Austin and rolls into a pinning maneuver. Bret gets the three count and Bret wins.

Winner: Bret Hart

Rating: ****

I gave this match four stars but that is mostly out of respect for Bret Hart and Stone Cold. I understand what they were doing and they executed it well so I think the match deserved four stars. I didn't love this match but that's only because this match didn't feature the style of wrestling I enjoy so I'm not going to give this match a bad rating just because of my personal preferences. Bret and Austin did a great job but if I rated the match based on how much I liked it, I would give it only ***1/2. That is still a good rating because I did enjoy some parts of the match and it is one of the few enjoyable Bret Hart matches that I have watched but that rating is a lot lower than most people have given this match. I appreciate what Bret and Austin did. They worked their asses off and put on a great show. I don't often say that I enjoy technical wrestling matches and I rarely give out four stars to slow paced technical wrestling matches. Many people may think four stars is too low for this match but I thought this match was very boring in the beginning. The second half of this match was much better and without that entertaining second half, I would not have given it four stars. Overall, I thought this match was above average but not quite exciting enough. That's just my opinion. Those who love technical wrestling and storytelling will probably love this match. I don't hate technical wrestling but I don't really love it. I think matches should have plenty of technical wrestling but I also think matches should have several high risk spots too. I think every wrestling fan should see this match at least once because it is a good match but if you enjoy fast paced and exciting matches, don't expect it to be very enjoyable. This is a match you need to watch fully awake and alert. This is not a good match to watch if you are tired. If you watch this match and give it your full attention like I did for this review, I think it is an enjoyable match.