The Keg Stand: The Recipe for a Classic WWE Match

[Writer's Note: This is my Keg Stand for this week. There will be no Keg Stand this weekend.]

Last Monday on RAW, CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler had an amazing match. I would have gave it four stars if I was reviewing RAW. It was a really good match but that match had no chance of being a 5-star classic match and I will explain why.

I'm sure wrestling fans would love to think that every WWE match could potentially be a classic match but that is not true. It is not easy to predict which matches will be considered a classic match but it is not hard to predict which matches won't be considered a classic match. There are several things that are required before the match even starts for a match to be considered a classic match when it is over. To determine what is required, I looked at Dave Meltzer's list of WWE 5-star matches. Meltzer is unofficially recognized as the WWE's top expert. He gave five stars to only five WWE matches and here they are:

• WrestleMania X 3/20/94 Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon, Ladder Match, WWF Intercontinental Championship-New York City, NY (18:47)
• SummerSlam 8/29/94 Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart, Cage Match, WWF Championship-Chicago, IL (32:17)
• WrestleMania 13 3/23/97 Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin, Submission Match-Chicago, IL (22:05)
• In Your House: Bad Blood 10/5/97 Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker, Hell in a Cell Match, WWF Championship-St. Louis, MO (30:00)
• Money in the Bank 7/17/11 John Cena vs. CM Punk, WWE Championship-Chicago, IL (33:44)

There's a lot of things I noticed about those five matches. All of them happened during a Pay-Per-View. Three of them happened during WrestleMania or SummerSlam which are the top two PPVs in the WWE. Out of the nine wrestlers who competed in 5-Star matches, four of them are WWE Hall of Famers, two of them are future WWE Hall of Famers (Cena and Undertaker) and one of them is the current WWE Champion (CM Punk). The other two are Owen Hart and Razon Ramon who were very popular when they were in the WWE. Four of the matches had a championship title on the line. Four of the matches went 20 minutes or longer. Four of the matches were non-traditional wrestling matches. Four of the matches took place in either Chicago or New York City which are arguably the top two U.S. cities for WWE Events. There are so many similarities that it's obvious there is a criteria a match must follow to be considered a classic.

Those matches were selected by only one person so I decided to look at Pro Wrestling Illustrated's opinion too. PWI is arguably the best wrestling magazine and each year since 1972, they have published their Best Match of the Year. Here is their winners for Best Match from 2001-2010:

• WrestleMania X-Seven 4/1/01 Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian, TLC Match, WWF Tag Team Championship-Houston, TX (25:53)
• WrestleMania X8 3/17/02 The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan-Toronto, Ontario (20:23)
• Smackdown! 9/16/03 Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lensar, 60-minute Iron Man match, WWE Championship-Raleigh, NC (60:00)
• WrestleMania XX 3/14/04 Triple H vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels, Triple Threat Match, WWE Championship-New York City, NY (25:11)
• WrestleMania 21 4/3/05 Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle-Los Angeles, CA (27:25)
• WrestleMania 22 4/2/06 Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon-Chicago, IL (18:28)
• RAW 4/23/07 John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels-London, England (37:49 TV Time)
• WrestleMania XXIV 3/30/08 Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels, Career Threatening Match-Orlando, FL (20:23)
• WrestleMania 25 4/5/09 Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels-Houston, TX (30:56)
• WrestleMania XXVI 3/28/10 Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, Streak vs. Career, No DQ/No Count-outs Match-Phoenix, AZ (31:06)

Eight of those ten matches were WrestleMania matches. Every match included at least one WWE Hall of Famer or one HOF-caliber wrestler. The two matches that were not WrestleMania matches were the only two matches that were at least 35 minutes long. Three of the matches had a championship title on the line. Three of the matches had a streak or a career on the line including one match that had both on the line.

As you can see, there are things that need to be in place in order for a match to have a chance to be considered a classic match. If it's not a WrestleMania match, there needs to be a title on the line. If there is no title on the line, the match needs to be a non-traditional match. If it is a normal match, the match needs to be on Pay Per View. If the match is on RAW or Smackdown, the match needs to go at least 35 minutes. And the most important rule of all...you need at least one wrestler who is a future Hall of Famer. You will never see a John Morrison vs. R-Truth match be considered a 5-Star classic match no matter how great the match is.

If you closely examine the Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk match, you will notice that it could never be considered a classic match. Both of them are good wrestlers but neither of them are locks for the Hall of Fame. The match was a normal singles match. The match got a lot of time but nowhere near the amount of time needed for a non-PPV match. There was nothing on the line and the match took place in Hershey, PA which is not considered a great WWE location. Other than that, I think CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler was just as good as many of the classic matches I mentioned. I don't think CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler should be considered a classic but I do think some of the other matches are overrated. For example, why is Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold from WrestleMania 13 a 5-Star match? I have watched that match a few times and I thought it was a good match but not arguably the greatest match of all-time. If the match didn't have two WWE Hall of Famers, if the match wasn't at WrestleMania, if the match wasn't in Chicago, if the match was less than 20 minutes long, if Stone Cold didn't bleed during the match, if Stone Cold tapped out to the sharpshooter, would it be still considered a classic match?  The answer is no. I know that is a lot of ifs but my point is everything had to go right for it to be considered a classic. Right city, right event, right wrestlers, right blade job, and right finish. If you had D'Lo Brown and Goldust do that exact match except it was on RAW in Cleveland, Ohio for 15 minutes without blood and without D'Lo Brown passing out during Goldust's submission hold, it would not be considered a classic. It would be probably be considered a good match but no way would people say it was the greatest match of all-time.

Another match that I think is overrated is the Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker match from WrestleMania 25. It was a good match but I don't think it was one of the greatest WrestleMania matches of all-time. I think people like it so much just because of Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, and The Streak. I understand people like Undertaker and Shawn Michaels and I understand the fact that Undertaker's WrestleMania streak was on the line made the match interesting but are those the only reasons why that match is considered a classic? I think Kane and John Morrison could have had that exact match but I doubt their match would have been considered a classic match because those two are not as legendary as Shawn Michaels and Undertaker and there wouldn't have been anything on the line. It's amazing how just the fact that two Hall of Fame wrestlers are in a match with something on the line at WrestleMania can add so much to a match. It's no shock that the WWE booked the exact same match with a few tweaks for the next WrestleMania. As long as those two had a decent match, people were going to name it the match of the year and that is exactly what happened. That pisses me off. I don't want to expect a match to be a classic before it happens. I want to wait until the match is over before I call it a classic or not. People were so excited about the story of that WrestleMania 26 match that Shawn and Taker could have headlocked each other for 30 minutes when they weren't kicking out of their finishing moves a dozen times and the match would have been a four star match at worst. I love a good story but I'm not going to enjoy a boring match and call it a classic just because it's a good story.

In my opinion, having a match at a certain event in a certain city for a certain amount of time with something on the line shouldn't greatly improve the odds of having a classic match. I know the story of a match is very important but I think the actual action during the match is important too. I think any match has a chance to be a classic match. It doesn't matter where the match is or how much time it gets or who is competing in the match or what the name of the event is. If the match is entertaining enough, it should be considered a classic match. I'm not saying that other stuff isn't important but I am not going to automatically give a match five stars just because it's a 30 minute WrestleMania Shawn Michaels match. If Shawn doesn't wrestle his ass off, I'm not giving it five stars. I don't give a fuck that he's Shawn Michaels and he is Mr. WrestleMania. If I don't like the match, I'm not calling it a classic match. If I really enjoy a 13 minute non-title singles match on RAW in Portland, Oregon between The Miz and Trent Barreta, I will give it five stars if I think it was that good. It's too bad Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk's match wasn't a 35 minute WWE Championship match in Chicago at WrestleMania. If it was, people might have called it a classic match.